I Love a Bunch of Genres

Good Times
Performed my still unnamed band
Originally by Edie Brickell & the New Bohemians

—-

Weird - I’ve acquired a few new followers in the past week or two, despite being many months retired. The world’s frothing demand for I Love a Bunch of Genres increases. Like a horror movie monster, it just won’t stay dead.

I really don’t have time for writing stupid things on the Internet - seriously, most days I’m lucky if I can find time to eat - but my friend and I recorded this song not long ago, and we have some others in the works, and I have this site which could use a little updating, so… why not?

As for the song… Finding time for the band has been tough. It had been a long time since we’d last finished a song, so the goal here was to record something super quickly, which we did. In hindsight, I wish we would’ve taken a bit more time, but I’m also glad to have finished anything for the first time in too long.

The song we were covering is not so great. I mean, I like it, it’s fine, but I don’t want to marry it. It does, however, take be back to the days of Windows 95’s debut, and the utter amazement that came from being able to watch videos on a computer. CD-ROM!

I’ve either lost you at this point, or you’re thinking about the hours you wasted watching that one Weezer video over and over again, in which case you and I should be best friends.

Only the Good Die Young

Performed by me

Originally by Billy Joel

—-

How refreshing and familiar it felt to record this after that brief respite into comfort and confidence that ambushed me yesterday.

Playing this song was an lesson in dire, choking anguish. It was misery. By the end of it, all the life had been sucked right out of my body, and you can hear it. I hated the experience of recording it and I hate the outcome.

Yes, after spending a month coming to terms with singing while playing guitar, I swapped instruments. And it’s hard. And I hate it.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh.

Yeah, I’m not sure if anyone noticed, but I’ve been whining a lot, lately. Whining, making myself miserable, and whining about making myself miserable. I don’t know why you people put up with it. Me, me, me.

But the fact is, between the start of the month and now, I’ve gotten better, or at least grown more accepting of my mediocrity. Something that was once nightmarish is now something I can do each day. I feel so good about that.

And I feel so bad about how hard it is for me to play the keyboard. And once I start feeling good about the keyboard, I’ll notice how awful I feel about something else. That’s life.

See, you thought you were just going to read some whiny whining today, but, nope, you learned something. You learned something about life. And that’s the magic of I Love a Bunch of Genres.

Next month: Something completely different. Finally.

One more thing: Outside of this song has anybody ever heard that Billy Joel runs with a dangerous crowd? I’ll admit that trying to get a too-young girl to abandon her religion and join him for some sexy times is a little more Goofus than Gallant, but I don’t know if asking her through an up-tempo, piano-driven pop tune counts as dangerous.

The Way

Performed by me

Originally by Fastball

—-

Well, nuts.

Last night, more as a means of procrastinating than anything else, I started clicking through some of the songs I’ve recorded this month, and… Okay, let’s get one thing straight: I hate listening to myself. Hate it. Speaking, singing, breathing - it doesn’t matter; if it’s a recording of me, I find it unpleasant. This probably isn’t anything that requires a great leap of empathy you, my readers, as I believe most people would rather not hear themselves, but I just want to establish that there will always be a baseline of discomfort when it comes to me listening to me.

That said, I listened to a few of these songs for the first time since I recorded them, songs which I was sure were among the most tragic crimes ever committed with a microphone in history, and I didn’t entirely hate them.

I still don’t want to listen to myself, but the experience did renew my zest for this music-recording mumbo-jumbo. It was a nice confidence booster.

And tomorrow is the last day of the month.

Nuts.

I Can’t Go for That (No Can Do)

Performed by me

Originally by Hall & Oates

—-

I have some questions today, many of them rhetorical.

First, what’s this “The Bird and the Bee” band? Who are these people? And why do they like to cover the same songs I like to cover? That song from yesterday, “Tonight You Belong to Me” - they’ve covered it. Today’s song? Covered. In fact, they covered Hall & Oates’ entire “Private Eyes” album (which, I’ll have you know, is among the finest albums I’ve ever heard, and I highly recommend it.)

I’d be mad at The Bird and the Bee, except…

A. They’re really, crazy good, and I love them.

B. It would be really, crazy dumb to get mad at someone for playing songs by someone else just because I also want to play those same songs that are by somebody else.

Next set of questions: Is it cool to like Hall & Oates now? As I understand it, their distinct brand of smooth Philadelphia funk has attracted legions of hipsters in recent times, right? I think that’s right. It’s hard for me to be sure, though, as I don’t have any meaningful definition of the term “hipster.” I think I could spot one, but I’m not sure. Does liking Hall & Oates make me a hipster? Do hipsters really like Hall & Oates, or is this one of those “ironic”/retro things, like hanging fuzzy dice from your rear view mirror?

Finally, a non-rhetorical question: Would anyone like to make any requests? Only two days left before this month ends.

Tonight You Belong to Me

Performed by that band I’m in that still needs a name, but we can’t find anything that’s good enough for us

Originally by Billy Rose, Lee David, Gene Austin, and/or Irving Kaufman depending on how we define “by.”

—-

You guys, I really like this. I have no more to say about it, so instead, please enjoy these hot, hot seal pictures.

Shake It Like a Sea Shanty

By me

With apologies to the Ying Yang Twins

—-

I don’t even know.

The lyrics are below.

Shake It Like a Sea Shanty

Matey’s drunk on the deck wide open

Splash so much just like the ocean

Roll… like a wave

She makes me heart stop, I’m in a watery grave

Ship’s leakin’, soakin’ wet

Yes, leakin’! Soakin’ wet!

Shake it like a sea shanty!

(Shake it like a sea shanty!)

Shake it like a sea shanty!

(Shake it like a sea shanty!)

Shake it like a sea shanty!

(Shake it like a sea shanty!)

Shake it like a sea shanty!

(Shake it like a sea shanty!)

Sea churns and percolates

First matey on deck, no time to wait

Get ta work! In a frilly shirt

You’ll sweep and mop

and your back will hurt

Say, the boots on yer feet

With the strap around yer ankles

Jangle, jangle, jangle

It’s a sound that rankles

Juicy like limes, to keep from gettin’ ill

Scurvy comes to those who don’t get their fill

Five doubloons down in a game of chance

If you’re playing with the cap’n, let the rules bend

Or he’ll put a cutlass to your throat, then

You’re not playin’ with boys, we’re grown men

So you better not act like a lass, then

Or you’ll walk the plank, rapscallion

Down in the drink, you’ll be drownin’

Shake it like a sea shanty!

(Shake it like a sea shanty!)

Shake it like a sea shanty!

(Shake it like a sea shanty!)

Shake it like a sea shanty!

(Shake it like a sea shanty!)

Shake it like a sea shanty!

(Shake it like a sea shanty!)

Walk the plank, matey! Any last wish?

One more step ‘til you’re sleepin’ with the fish

Walk the plank, matey! Any last wish?

One more step ‘til you’re sleepin’ with the fish

We’ll haul your carcass up and down the keel

And we’ll do it again, how does that feel?

We’ll haul your carcass up and down the keel

And we’ll do it again, how does that feel?

We’re drunken! We’re shootin’!

We’re rapin’, pillagin’, and lootin’!

We’re drunken! We’re shootin’!

We’re rapin’, pillagin’, and lootin’!

Now, raise the mast real fast, and stop!

Raise the mast real fast, and stop!

Raise the mast real fast, then drop!

Raise the mast real fast, then drop!

Shake it like a sea shanty!

(Shake it like a sea shanty!)

Shake it like a sea shanty!

(Shake it like a sea shanty!)

Shake it like a sea shanty!

(Shake it like a sea shanty!)

Shake it like a sea shanty!

(Shake it like a sea shanty!)

Shake it like a coin, a piece of eight

What would ya do to be first mate?

Climb the crow’s nest and shake, then

Get on the deck and swab, then

When you’re done, swab it again

Drink a little rum, then swab it again

Swab it just as hard as a sailor can

Make that poop deck shine for the captain

Seven seas terrified by one boat

And X marks the next spot where we’ll float

Gold and jewels spillin’ all on the floor

We’ll bury this chest, then search for more

Lost boys , Wendy, Peter Pan – they’re not real

Never seen a mermaid, but I have loved a seal

I could join the Royal Navy and be a skipper

But outside the law, I’m a lot more chipperShake it like a sea shanty!

(Shake it like a sea shanty!)

Shake it like a sea shanty!

(Shake it like a sea shanty!)

Shake it like a sea shanty!

(Shake it like a sea shanty!)

Shake it like a sea shanty!

(Shake it like a sea shanty!)

Stranger in Moscow

Performed by me

Originally by Michael Jackson

—-

Apparently it’s been a year since Michael died. I wasn’t planning on covering any of his songs today, but then I heard that, and, well, what choice did I have?

“Stranger in Moscow” was one of his secret-best songs. One of those scary-good songs that reminds you of how great music is.

I’ll tell you the truth, though - I first discovered this song after people on the Internet started noticing its resemblance to the music that plays over the end credits in Sonic the Hedgehog 3. Here, check out a comparison:

Come On Eileen

Performed by me

Originally by Dexys Midnight Runners

—-

There was a period in my life - a long period; months, maybe even a year - where just about everyone in my entire circle of friends became absolutely obsessed with this song. It wasn’t our only song - I believe it significantly overlapped our “Cum On Feel the Noize” phase, which only now strikes me as funny and related - but it is now forever tied to that time in my life, and I know I’m not the only person in that group who feels that way.

Also during that period, my friend Jeff had the idea to start carrying a video camera everywhere, documentary-style, which was not quite as weird as it probably seems to you, but, yeah, it was still pretty weird. I don’t think we quite knew what he was seeking. He probably didn’t have a specific goal in mind when he started, but, as he is the single most talented human being I have ever met, we went along with it.

This continued for months, and, whatever he was doing, he managed to do a great job of keeping it a secret. Then, one night at a Christmas party, had us all gather around the TV to reveal his project - two music videos. I’m ashamed to admit that I don’t remember what one of the songs was, but I distinctly recall the other being “Come On Eileen.”

What an incredible experience. How amazing to see your life and your friendships dancing along with… well anything, but Dexys Midnight Runners was definitely a good choice in this case. Such a beautiful surprise to see the fruits of something as peculiar as being followed with a camera for months.

Anti-climactic ending: I don’t have a copy of the video. Man, I need to find that thing. Jeff is getting a call this weekend.

Come On Home

Performed by me

Originally by Franz Ferdinand

—-

After weeks of whining and complaining, this crazy challenge is near its end as we enter the month’s final week, and now I can’t stop thinking about all the songs I still want to play before it’s over.

Stupid brain.

Everybody Way Oh!

Performed by me

Originally by Terry Scott Taylor

—-

Something simple today, but it’s oh-so-fun to play and sing.

This one come from the computer game The Neverhood, created by a very talented fellow, Doug TenNapel. If you’re familiar with any of Mr. TenNapel’s work it would probably be Earthworm Jim, or maybe his cartoon Catscratch, but despite all the hours I’ve sent hunting down Psycrow and Queen Pulsating, Bloated, Festering, Sweaty, Pus-filled, Malformed Slug-for-a-Butt, the TenNapel game that always jumps to my mind first is one I’ve never had the chance to play.

I am someone who has played a lot of computer and video games. Like, a lot. Enough to make a sane person think, “Dude, enough with the computer/video games already. Chill, brah.”

And yet I’ve never played The Neverhood. It’s my white whale. It came out in the days when I was too young and too poor to buy games, but, oh, how I longed for it. I’d tag along with my mom when she went to stores, then dash off to the electronics section to stare at it’s electric-lime green and black box (back in the days when computer games had big boxes) while my mom when off to shop for whatever it is mom buy, a category which sadly did not include Claymation computer games.

Someday…